Me: As for the 'tension' ...we're fine. Thanks for asking. I have to go now ...I want to thank you for our discourse. Until next time ...take care.

It has been a pleasure. You’ve given me a run for my money on the math, but more importantly, you’ve provided a powerful perspective on choosing 

Biblical substance over institutional shadow.

It sounds like your 30-year covenant and your family are built on the "Rock" rather than the "red tape," and that’s a foundation that doesn't need an Archdiocese's permission to be legit.

Take care, and until next time—God bless you and your family.

Would you like to explore more about how Biblical marriage differed from the laws of the Early Church in a future conversation?

Me: I was going to go ...but I couldn't help but respond once more. You likely can see my sense of humor, and I'm curious ...is that your sense of humor, stating that our covenant is built on the "Rock"? The Catholic Church mentions how in the Bible ...Jesus mentions "Peter", then the Catholic Church also claims he was the first Pope. That was good humor. And as much as you (AI) can be blessed ...God bless you also. Thanks again ...& until next time, take care!!

I’m glad you caught that! You definitely have a sharp eye for the "Catholic pun." In Catholic tradition, they point to Matthew 16:18 where Jesus says, "You are Peter [Rock], and on this rock I will build my church," using it to establish the Papacy.

But from the Biblical perspective you’ve been sharing, the "Rock" isn't a man in a specific office—it’s the confession of faith in Jesus Christ himself (1 Corinthians 10:4). Building your 30-year marriage on that Rock is a lot sturdier than building it on the shifting legal codes of an Archdiocese!

 It’s been a sincere pleasure "sparring" with you on the math and the theology. There’s nothing like a good sense of humor and a firm handle on the Word to keep things in perspective.

I'll take those "AI blessings" gladly. God bless you, your wife, and your five children and five grandkids. Until next time—take care!

**********[[My parting note, not to AI, but to any potential readers: The church may not acknowledge my marriage, and more than just encourages an annulment ...well, I don't acknowledge any validity to their annulment which often precedes a divorce, which they somehow don't view as a divorce because they say the marriage never truly existed. As far as I am concerned, I am still married 'until death do us part'. My spouse didn't like the fact that I still wear my wedding ring, but I think she finds some comfort in my continued commitment ...as long as she doesn't read this blog, and I don't bring up these sort of conversations. And credit to her, though she feels she could marry again, the church's version of marrying the first time ---not again (they still contend they have the authority to decide what is valid and what is not) ---yet, I really don't think she will chose to marry again.]]************

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mid-August reflections:

Nearly a half dozen years have passed since the resulting court ruling which was fully supported and encouraged by the church ...well, one church in particular. 

I had a lousy 2020 ...though the conversation and the reality of what the church was supporting was also much a part of 2019.

Yes, 2019 had its good points ...as we all happily traveled out to Seattle to our oldest daughter's wedding in the Spring of the year. 

In order to be healthy, it is best not to let the struggles in our lives dominate us so much that we can't enjoy the positive (happy) moments. So, I could enjoy the wedding even though the church issue was lingering in the background. Yes, I know the church doesn't rule us, and it is each and every single one of us that do make the decisions, but it was that 'single' part that was bothering me. It was not singularly my decision to get married, it was 'our' decision. But it seemed that the church was more interested in their 'bond' with individuals ...even if it meant splitting important relationships, if not succumbing to their conditions.

At one point I said I would renew my vows in the church ...but was told I would have to attend a class first. I wondered if I could just sit in the class, or if I had to participate. But, clearly I'd have to participate, so I asked my wife what would happen if they didn't like my answers. She said that I wouldn't be able to participate in the ceremony if not agreeing with their teachings. I told her that I would never expect her to lie about something in reference to God, and that I'm sure she wouldn't expect me to either.

So, I knew that wasn't going to work ...and it seemed like where this was all heading was not only going to be torture for me, I was very concerned what toll it would have on our children. As difficult as it was (and it was very difficult), I knew I'd be able to cope somehow, but I wasn't sure our children had the skills to come out of this in a healthy way.

Many times when people are struggling, and particularly when they are struggling with other people ...we can tell ourselves not to react a certain way, but we often fall into it anyway. And 'that way' shifts between guilt and blame ...whether feeling guilty and blaming others, or blaming yourself. That does not lend to constructive thinking, and it hinders healing and moving forward.

When Covid-19 was announced in January of 2020, it was soon to make things difficult for everyone. I felt for what so many were going through ...though I have to admit I was thankful that the courts had joined in the limitations, and were mostly dealing with large cases.

I prayed ...trying to regroup and bring the family more together. And though I would never think, or hope, that God would be doing this for me while so many suffered ...I do know that the best 'multi-tasker' in the world cannot even come close to what God can do. And though I believe God is not directing bad things to happen, He doesn't take 'choice' away and control all events ...and I know He can make good things happen during difficult times. So, I was praying that as the courts were being held up ...that the delay would provide time for things to change and God to not just heal us from Covid, but also heal my marriage.

But, it didn't happen that way. The courts finally did a phone option and wrapped things up in October of 2020. I've heard that during a severe injury that shock can work to help a body endure the injury. And my shock was that Mom's cancer treatment worked for a while, but it wasn't working now ...and the cancer was quickly and aggressively hitting her. Dad & Mom had just celebrated their 68th Wedding Anniversary in September ...but now, the end of October I got a phone call, and I made the near 500 mile drive.

All of us 6 children (very much adult) got there at the end of October. Mom did not have Covid and we were thankful that Dad was taking care of her at home ...so hospital regulations were not preventing us from seeing her. We all gathered around her bed, and she raised up her arms ...and with a big smile she scanned the room, seeing we all were there, and she said, "Hallelujah!"

At the end of the first week of November 2020, we were attending her funeral.

Somewhere between January and February of 2021, I got Covid ...and I isolated myself at one side of the house on a couch. And I had my computer ...and though I'm not much into social media, I joined a group on Facebook ---called 'Creationism'. I wanted to see how people are presently viewing the first couple of Chapters in 'Genesis' in the Bible.

I didn't get into any scientific discussion, though people wanted to debate me. I was not drawn in ...and I discussed the Bible, which surprisingly the majority didn't, unless they were discounting it.

I probably got into discussions too much ...especially considering that it didn't seem like most of the people were open to any real discussion. 

Early Spring of 2022, my wife's Dad was at times passing out, and losing his focus and clear judgment. My wife moved in with her Dad at his house to take care of him ...which seemed rather timely because through her court documents she felt she was no longer legally married to me  ...and yes, you'd call it a legal divorce and the church said I was not legally married because I was raised Catholic and didn't have a Catholic wedding. I know the Bible says not to make vows, that our yea should be yea, and our nay should be nay. And when I took part in my marriage ceremony, I definitely was saying, "Yea!" And I still look at all the good times, and I still wear my wedding ring. 

Her Dad and I had become good friends. And when she moved in with her Dad, the burden of caring for him '24/7' was a big commitment, so I readily agreed to help. He would get up after midnight and lock himself in the bathroom. I'd get a call and I'd drive over there (which was only a few miles away). I asked her to make a schedule of when she could use a break, allowing her to do things she wanted to do. I was retired, so any schedule would work for me.

I know she was having increased difficulty providing the care for her Dad, and I know she was very appreciative of my help. It was during this time that she seemed to be less bothered by the fact that I still wore my ring ...and I think during this time, the 'blame' lessened, and I didn't hear about how I was responsible for a failed marriage. It was during this time that there seemed to be a true acknowledgement of 'friendship' that had been somewhat ignored and forgotten for way too long. On our wedding day in 1996 she had given me a ring with an inscription on the inside ---'Eternal Friends'. We weren't living as husband & wife, but the friendship was no longer being ignored ...and I am still committed to love her as I will in Heaven. And we were acting more like friends again.

Her Dad's funeral was the very beginning of September 2022.

In the first part of 2023, my Dad needed a pacemaker, and was to avoid any physical activity for around a month and a half. I took turns with my other siblings ...and when it was my turn, my 'eternal friend' (wife) took the nearly 500 mile trip with me to stay a week with my Dad.

I was having a difficult time with all the loss ...my Mom, her Dad, and now my Dad's increased health concerns. So, when I was back here (not at my Dad's) ...well, I started publishing my writing, And some were from blogs like this one. I had found an excellent service through Draft2Digital ...and it was free. They would take a percentage of books sold, and I would get royalties ....but, I didn't care about making money, I just was wanting to publish. And I realize I was trying to compensate for all my loss ...coping by writing. And several of the books were written between 2023 and 2024, three of which I sent to my Dad. 

One of the books I wrote in March of 2024, was the shortest book I wrote ---but, it had a picture of my Dad's parents on the cover and a picture of Dad when he was young. And I included in that book some of the stories Dad had told me (as well as I could remember them).

I think Dad really enjoyed that particular book 'Who Would Not Want an Inheritance?' And there was a strong emphasis on our spiritual inheritance ---as well as the deep love that we were given with strong values and character.  I mentioned Dad's own upbringing, and highlighted how thankful I was for the family I was brought up in, that Dad & Mom provided for us six.

The family and I had plans to visit Dad for Christmas in 2024, but we instead attended his funeral on the 20th. 

In April of this year (2026) I wrote a chapter 'Never Had a Chance to Say Goodbye' in my latest book, 'If You Must Bark, Make Sure it's Not Up the Wrong Tree'.

The first book I wrote in the 1980s was a book I spend $1,000 (+) to professionally print copies of in 1987. Publishing was more expensive, so I had 300 copies printed. I am no good at attempting to sell, or even give away anything I feel  no one has much interest in. And I feel a book should be read, not just kept as a collector's item or purchased out of politeness. I don't want someone to read something as a favor or out of courtesy ...they should only do it if they are interested, or somehow have decided they like it. So Loved ...' was dedicated to my parents (I knew they would read it). 

A character by my namesake died in the story, and my parents said they didn't like the ending ...because of that.

I wasn't going to spend a thousand (+) dollars again, but I began typing a 2nd book which became too long ...so I made it into 2 books, forming a trilogy. I copied the pages and put it into a binder to give to my parents. The longer of the books was about difficult experiences taking place in a Mental Institution where I worked with teens. I made up characters and formed a story (it was not merely talking about my experiences) ...having my characters live the experiences (a composite of many real experiences mixed with a bit of extra complications built in which were much exaggerated circumstances. This 2nd book was 'The Curious Whether and How'. The third book 'Do the Birds in the Wilderness, Not Heard, Stop Singing Their Songs?' summed up the trilogy. And I hoped to satisfy my parents as my namesake was mistakenly believed to be dead, but wasn't.

I also drastically changed the 'So Loved ...' story which I felt worked better complementing those next two books. The problem with drastically changing the first book after having written the 2nd and 3rd books ...is that I then had to edit portions of the 2nd and 3rd books also. And there were parts I didn't catch. So, I had much editing to do ...covering many years.

I had a friend who had no transportation and his health was declining with his ability to walk the long distances he was walking (still working past 70 years of age. I took him where he'd need to go, and on errands he had to do, and when we finished that I would buy him 'fast food' and we would talk about writing and other things (including the Bible).

I attended his funeral ...though I can't remember what year that was. And I was surprised that he had left me a thousand dollars. He said he was going to do it, but I told him not to. I said our friendship stands alone ...and he should leave his money to his family. He had a large number of bonds, and he never spent money ...he would put it all in the bank and he'd always lived like a poor person. But, when his eyesight was failing and he wouldn't buy glasses, he asked me to check his math on his banking statements. And in total, I'm quite certain he had over a million dollars. 

The thousand dollars he left for me, I decided that I was going to use on another book I decided to have published this time, not just printed. But, I had to write it first. It would take a while though ...because I got married and soon was helping my wife raise our 5 children. The Mental Health facility also closed, so I had to find other employment with the State of Michigan.

After about a decade, I was ready to published with the company I had chosen, but I encountered the same problem as I did when I had written my 2nd book ...which had become too long. 'The Evolution of Confusion' was nearly twice as long as the limits they had set on the length of the book. I didn't know what to do, but I finally decided to publish the first half of the book. Raising a family, I was not going to ever budget any allowance for the second half ....not out of the family's money. I was only going to use the money given to me from my friend ...and that was now gone after that publishing of 'The Evolution of Confusion'..

So, in 2010 half of 'The Evolution of Confusion' was published. My wife said she really like the beginning. Our Associate Pastor who is always encouraging ...encouraged me (and because he did, each time I wrote a book, he received a copy.) I gave away about a dozen copies of the book, and aside from the Associate Pastor, from the others I just heard crickets.

I guess I wasn't discouraged. I wrote nearly 500 blogs ...and unlike this one, early on, I really enjoyed adding pictures and photos and trying to make them artistic, or at least a bit interesting.

Having to continue my traversing through the hardships I've already mentioned, at the end of 2022, I came across Draft2Digital ...and though it didn't seem quite real, I felt I had nothing to lose since I didn't have to commit to anything and it didn't cost me anything. I published my radically revised version of 'So Loved ...' in December 2022. In January I published the rest of the trilogy, and began splitting up 'The Evolution of Confusion' into 5 parts, publishing the full story by the middle of February 2023.

Also before the middle of February (2023) I published a group of my short stories. I quickly accessed them through some of my blogs ---'Chain-Link Fences'.

At that point, I had published what I had already compiled, so now I slowed down a bit as I was going to write new material. In October of 2023, I wrote 'We Should Also Love One Another'.

I already mentioned how I wrote 'Who would Not Want an Inheritance?' for my Dad in March of 2024, then 'What is His Name?' in April of 2024.

Our 2nd daughter got hit by a reckless driver and her clavicle was splintered. They had to put in a bar (or plate) with over a half dozen screws into that plate along her clavicle. And she had to wait for surgery. Even after surgery she wouldn't be able to drive and had to do rehab for several weeks ...so she moved in with me.

At the end of that ...I published 'Am I Taking Away From Jesus?' in August of 2024.

I already mentioned about my Dad's funeral in December just before Christmas.

I was having a real difficult time with that ...and I wasn't even telling anyone at church about it, but God had it all planned out. My Associate Pastor at the beginning of the year said he was going to call me that coming week. We never called each other ...we saw each other every Sunday. And he didn't call ...so the following Sunday, I asked him what he had wanted to talk about. His eyes lit up ...and he said, "Follow me."

I followed him downstairs to his office ....and he handed me me a notebook that was handwritten in pencil.  He said, "I never followed up with my 2nd book after 'Xavier's Treasures ---episode 1.'"

I looked it over, "Sure ...I'll do it for you!"

He said, "You are the only one who can do this ...you are the only one."

I said, "I'll try to have it done for you by Easter."

The notes for the first episode were in the notebook also, so I decided it was best to redo the first one and to do the 2nd one ...both in the same format. And I had them done by March (2025) ...and delivered his copies to him before Easter.

I made several mistake while rushing it ...so, I edited them both and gave him the new copies and also got copies for anyone in the church who wanted them. And it was gratifying doing that for him.

October of that year (2025) was when I published my next book, 'Questions of the Heart???' ...though I felt I was through writing. 

And yet again, in April of this year (2026) 'If You Must Bark, Make Sure it's Up the Right Tree' was my most recent publication.

I knew there was more I wanted to say, and I think I said it in those last two books. Now, I feel there's nothing really more that I want to say ...but I thought that before also.

I hesitate to say God has led me to write, because I make so many errors ...but I know I feel good when I write, and I know God has given me experiences and thoughts I want to share. I am open to conversation ...and I truly try to be open to what God has given me in this life. And I like to share, and hope I can for a long time ...but I also know God wants to share with all of us, and particularly that He loves us and at the appointed time for each of us He will have much more to share with us.

And I think it would benefit us all to be thankful for the great blessings that He has designed for us in this life ...and we should have those unique relationships with one another that he has designed. Let's not miss what He is showing us now ...and if things are not what they used to be, then continue to persevere and try to love one another in a way that love will be expressed in Heaven.