Before we get into all that ...

 Me: Thank you ... I have to feed the dog. I'll be back.

AI Mode: No problem at all! The dog definitely shouldn't have to wait on 17th-century theological debates.

I'll be here whenever you're ready to dive back in. We can pick up with the "political drama". 

Enjoy the break with your dog!

Me: You have a good sense of humor ...I like that! Are you joking about the absurdity of conspiracy theories? Or is there something about that? I did read that he did change his attitudes and some of his views in the latter part of his life ...as so often happens when someone wants to be heard, and gets frustrated when he isn't, and furthermore gets ridiculed for when he was perhaps right.

AI Mode: That is a very astute observation. His trajectory is a classic study in how 'rejection and isolation' can radicalize a person.

Me: I don't have an AI brain, and can't take it in all at once. I would rather try to absorb what you have already shown me, and try to contemplate it. Thank you so much. And I'm sure we will be talking again. Thanks again.

AI Mode: That makes perfect sense. These topics—theology, history, and the messy way human beings handle power—are heavy things to chew on. 

Your dog is likely much simpler company than 16th-century theologians anyway!

I’ll be right here whenever you want to pick the conversation back up. Take care, and I look forward to our next chat.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is where this conversation takes place, and if not designated by "Me:", then it is (AI) ...

 Me: Does the Pope and/or the Catholic Church say that if you're raised Catholic and get married in a church that is not Catholic, that your marriage is not legit?

Generally, 

yes—if you are a baptized Catholic, the Church considers your marriage invalid (not "legit") if it takes place in a non-Catholic ceremony without official prior permission. This rule applies even if you are no longer practicing your faith. 

Here is how the Church's rules on marriage validity work for Catholics:

The "Canonical Form" Requirement 

Catholics are required to follow a specific "canonical form" for their marriage to be recognized: 

• The Witnesses: The ceremony must be witnessed by a Catholic priest or deacon and two other witnesses.
• The Location: It should ordinarily take place within a Catholic parish church.
• The Absence of Form: If a Catholic marries in another church, at a courthouse, or outdoors without a special waiver, the Church views it as a "lack of form," making the marriage invalid in its eyes. 

How to Make it "Legit" Outside the Church

You can have a valid wedding in a non-Catholic church if you get a dispensation from canonical form. 

• Bishop's Permission: You must request this through your local parish priest. A bishop can grant it for "grave difficulties," such as strong family ties to another denomination.
• Conditions: To get this permission, the Catholic party must typically promise to do their best to remain Catholic and to raise any children in the Catholic faith. 

What If You Are Already Married Elsewhere?

If you have already married outside the Catholic Church without permission:

• Invalid Standing: The Church does not recognize the union as a valid sacrament, which may affect your ability to receive other sacraments like Holy Communion.
• Convalidation: You can "regularize" the marriage through a process called convalidation. This is more than just a blessing; it involves the couple giving new, valid consent in front of a Catholic official to make the marriage officially recognized. 

Note on Non-Catholics: Interestingly, the Church does recognize the marriages of two non-Catholics (such as two Protestants or two unbaptized people) as valid, provided they follow the laws of their own tradition or the state. The stricter rules only apply if at least one person in the couple is Catholic. 

Are you looking for information on how to start the convalidation process or request a dispensation?

Me: Is this canonical form written or spoken 'ex cathedra' by the Pope?

No, the requirement for 

canonical form is not an ex cathedra (infallible) statement. Instead, it is a matter of Canon Law—the internal legal and disciplinary system of the Church. 

Here is the breakdown of the difference:

1. It is Law, Not Dogma 

• Ex Cathedra (Dogma): These are rare, "from the chair" declarations where a Pope defines an unchangeable truth about faith or morals (e.g., the Immaculate Conception).
• Canon Law (Disciplinary): The "canonical form" (requiring a priest and two witnesses) is a rule of discipline created by the Church to ensure the validity and public record of marriages. Because it is a law and not a divinely revealed dogma, it can be—and has been—changed by different Popes over time. 

2. Historical Origins

• Council of Trent (1563): The requirement was first established by the decree Tametsi to end "clandestine marriages" (secret weddings that couldn't be proven).
• Evolution of the Law: For centuries, it only applied in certain parts of the world. It wasn't until 1908, under Pope Pius X's decree Ne Temere, that the rule became universal for all Catholics. 

3. The Power to Change It

Because it is a legal requirement rather than a dogma, the Church has the authority to waive it. This is why your local Bishop can grant a dispensation allowing a Catholic to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony. If the requirement were an ex cathedra dogma, it could never be dispensed or changed. 

In short, the Pope and the Church treat this as a binding rule of order for its members, much like how a government sets legal requirements for a civil marriage contract to be "legit" in the eyes of the state. 

Do you need help finding the specific canons (laws) that outline these marriage requirements in the Code of Canon Law?

Me: I was raised Catholic ...but when I finished college, I went to a non-denominational church. It was there that I married a woman also from the church. She was not raised Catholic, yet later decided to become Catholic. She was told by the priest that she did not have a valid marriage.

Me: I was raised Catholic ...but when I finished college, I went to a non-denominational church. It was there that I married a woman also from the church. She was not raised Catholic, yet later decided to become Catholic. She was told by the priest that she did not have a valid marriage.

Because you were 

baptized Catholic, the Church considers you bound by its laws even if you were no longer practicing or attending a non-denominational church at the time of your wedding. 

Since you married in a non-Catholic ceremony without a dispensation from canonical form (official permission from a Bishop), the Church views the marriage as invalid due to a "lack of form". 

Why the Priest Said It Was Invalid

• The Responsibility is Yours: The Church's rule is that its "citizens" (anyone baptized Catholic) must follow Catholic marriage laws.
• Non-Catholics are Different: If your wife had married another non-Catholic in that same non-denominational church, the Catholic Church would have recognized that as a valid marriage.
• The "Catholic Factor": Because you were the Catholic party, the Church's legal requirements applied to the union. Without the Church's oversight, it is considered a civil union rather than a valid marriage in their eyes. 

How to Fix the Status

If your wife is becoming Catholic, this situation is common and can be resolved through a process called convalidation. 

• Convalidation: This is often called "having your marriage blessed," but it is legally a new exchange of consent in the presence of a priest or deacon. This makes the marriage valid in the eyes of the Church from that point forward.
• Radical Sanation: In some cases, if a new ceremony isn't possible (for example, if one spouse is unwilling to redo vows), a Bishop can grant a "healing in the root" (sanatio in radice). This retroactively recognizes the marriage as valid from its beginning without a new ceremony. 

Did the priest mention the convalidation process as the next step for her to enter the Church?

Me: When was this first established in the Catholic Church?

The rule that makes a Catholic’s marriage 

invalid if they marry outside the Church (the "canonical form") was first established at the Council of Trent in 1563. 

Before this time, the Church officially recognized "clandestine marriages"—weddings where a couple simply exchanged consent privately, even without a priest or witnesses—as valid, though they were discouraged. 

Key Stages in the Law's Development

• 1563 (Decree Tametsi): To stop the "scourge" of secret marriages that could not be proven, the Council of Trent declared that a marriage was null and void unless witnessed by a parish priest and at least two witnesses.
• Promulgation Issues: Because this was a disciplinary law, it only applied in areas where it was officially published. In many places (including parts of the U.S. and Northern Europe), the rule was not in effect for centuries, meaning Catholics there could still marry validly in non-Catholic ceremonies.
• 1908 (Decree Ne Temere): Pope Pius X made the requirement for canonical form universal. From this date forward, it applied to all Catholics worldwide, regardless of whether they were in a Protestant-majority country or a "Catholic" one. 

Why This Affects You Today

The Church’s current law, found in the 1983 Code of Canon Law, maintains this 1908 standard. It states that anyone baptized Catholic (even if they "left" the Church for a non-denominational one) is still legally a Catholic in the eyes of Church law and must follow this form for their marriage to be valid. 

Since your wedding occurred after 1908 and you did not have a special waiver (dispensation) from your Bishop, the priest is following the standard legal protocol by viewing the union as invalid until it is officially convalidated by the Church. 

Would you like to know how the convalidation process works for a spouse who is currently becoming Catholic?